Tales from the N Train

And the city keeps evolving

And the people keep revolving

All of eight-point-two-five million on the go 

The ambiance of the past few days has been so New York, I had to share. Today's tale began when I left my house, chatting to the landlord on my way out the door as he worked away with his Greek-Greek construction guys. (Whenever Theodora apologizes for the noise and the dust and the cigarette smoke that filters up from downstairs where the warzone construction site is located, she blames it on them being fresh off the boat from Greece, working here after their day jobs to send the money home to their families. Imagine her saying “It’s the Greeks, you know” in her own heavy Greek accent with an accompanying shrug and wave of the hand.)

Anyway, back to the point. The latest construction inconvenience was Ilia asking my permission to allow Con Edison into my apartment some time next week to swap out some wiring. So I did my Pacific Northwestern shrug and grin with an “ok.” He replied, “Why you no complain? All the time, is ok!” His English has been suffering a little since working with the Greek-Greeks.

Then on the train, a young Hispanic woman offered her seat to an older Russian woman who politely waved it off with a “no, thank you,” and the young lady replied, “Bueno? Ok.”

A few stops later, a dad and son got on the train. Shortly thereafter, I heard the most beautiful little-boy franglais (mixture of French and English). “Papa, je veux un photo. Take a picture, s’il te plaît! You see, the people get free wifi (pronounced weefee). Do you have AT&T?" (All the letters carefully pronounced in an American accent.)

By the time the Japanese teenagers entered, I was trying really hard to tune it all out so I could finish the end of my reading before class. But I have to admit I was distracted when I heard the words “Bruce Almighty” in the midst of the Japanese conversation. 

This is fresh on the heels of spending Saturday evening at a friend's housewarming party, where it turns out the majority of attendees were Jewish and celebrating Rosh Hashanah. CUNY gave us the week off for this new year holiday, so it was fun to be with people for whom this mattered, even if it took two and a half hours to get home from Brooklyn due to train delays, and I encountered way too much vermin underfoot on the transfer to the N. L'shanah tovah!

And to cap it all off, Sunday morning I shared a cab with a Broadway actress who was likewise trying to get to church on time for rehearsal and stalled by the N train being out of service.

New York may be growing on me.

Because Introverts Are So Popular: The "I'm Sorry" List of My Introversion

[Her] isolation is confirmation
Of [her] desperation for healing hugs
So [s]he's a bit of a fixer-upper…

So, I know it’s super popular online to be an introvert these days. To the extent that I had to tell my obviously extraverted brother a few months ago that, yes, he is an extravert, but that does not mean he’s obnoxious/overbearing/odious/etc. Extraverts do like some time alone. Introverts do like to be in groups [of people whom they love. Important distinction.]. For example, I spent much of Holy Week in large and small groups of people, yet I felt much more rested than if I had spent the entire spring break sleeping in the corner. More on Holy Week to come in a future blog, I hope. Anyway, I think the current internet introversion popularity might be attributable to the fact that extraverts are out doing life and introverts are at home re-charging and writing blog posts…

Regardless, here are a few of my “I’m sorry if my introversion has ever offended you” statements. Let’s be honest, I culled many of these from the resonant points of Buzzfeed lists and threw out those with which I disagreed. [For example: not all introverts are misanthropes. Caveat: NYC introverts might possibly all be misanthropes. I’m trying to avoid buying into that wholesale… but I’ll admit, I did verbally sigh, “oh, for the love,” as I zoomed around a cluster of distracted tourists on 35^th today. And I may have left class halfway through, pretending I needed a drink of water just so I could have a break from the banal banter on unrelated topics.]

1. I’m sorry I never actually answer my phone. Please leave me a message. I will call you back. I like to be mentally prepared for what you want me to say to you on the phone. Improv has never been my strong suit, especially when I can’t see your face.
2. With that in mind, I’ve become more comfortable with Skype/Facetime/Google Hangouts. But I do have to have a scheduled time to be in front of the camera. I still won’t just answer if you try to cold-call me.
3. If I’ve ignored your text, it’s not you, it’s me. Or the fact that I have finally promised myself a few hours of uninterrupted reading time and my phone is on ‘do not disturb’ mode.
4.  Just as an aside, that ‘do not disturb’ setting does allow for repeat calls to go through. If you really need me, please call right back. If you simply text “are you still up?” I might not notice it, though I’m probably still up.
5. If I’ve ignored Facebook private messages, that’s simply because the interface is conducive to forgetting that they exist. Gmail is a much better choice for reaching me.
6. If you text/call in the morning, yes, I am probably still sleeping. I don’t know why I try to pretend I’m not. If you hear my “morning voice” and I try to make some lame excuse about having a cold, I’m lying. I was up until 3 reading and still think that real grown-ups go to bed at 11 and get up at 6. Ok, this actually has very little to do with introversion…
7. Continuing on that thought process, if you hear my “morning voice,” don’t make a big deal of it. That’s the quickest way not to have your phone call answered the next time. If I’ve chosen to answer, you don’t have to feel guilty about calling.
8. And to make this list a paragraph, just don’t make a big deal of things in general. If I am clearly trying to move past something embarrassing, please do me a favor and move past it with me. I’m all about pretending embarrassing things didn’t happen.
9. I like living alone. Until I don’t. And that’s when I Facebook. Or cry over sentimental music. Or write a blog that may or may not look like this one. Or wash my dishes at 2am and dance around my kitchen, epically yet silently mouthing French musicals because I do still want to think of my neighbors. What can I say? Mine is an interesting apartment.
10. Before you even say it, I refuse to get a cat. My sister could never visit if I do, and I’m pretending that’s the main reason. The real main reason might be because if I get one cat, I’m pretty sure I’ll somehow end up with five and then I’ll be that woman.
11. I’m an introvert who loves planning and hosting parties. That’s when I know that I have ultimate control over my surroundings. If I’m invited to a party, I might have a mini panic attack because I don’t know what to expect. Let me at least pretend to co-host. Then I can step out of the room at any time to fetch more snacks from the kitchen and everyone will compliment me on being a good hostess instead of condemning me for being a bad conversationalist.
12. I’m much funnier in writing than in person. Sorry if my conversations are actually that bad. I need time to think things through.
13. I’m really not fond of leading questions when I can sense that it’s more about what you want to tell me than what you want to ask me. If you want to say something, just say it. If you want to know something, ask it outright. I’m not likely to press you for details unless you offer and not likely to offer details unless I really have something to say.
14. I’m sorry if I’ve bailed on you for outings. I like the idea of getting together with people I love. But I also get easily overwhelmed by actually rubbing shoulders with people I don’t know. It often comes down to whether or not I have a clear purpose or goal for going out.
15. As a follow up, here are some places I hate: bars with loud music so I can’t hear you; bars with TVs so I can’t manage to focus on you; places where I will inevitably be standing in someone’s way; parties with too many people so cross-conversations distract me; basically anywhere where extraneous stimulation keeps me from actually talking to you.
16. If I’m in public somewhere and reading a book, I’m probably actually interested in or trying to finish said book. I’m not usually one to hide behind a book hoping that someone will talk to me.
17. On the flip-side, if I’m twiddling on my phone, it’s probably bejeweled blitz. You’re more than welcome to interrupt that. Sorry! I’m confusing!
18. If you hear my fake voice when I’m small-talking, I am sorry. I’d love to have a real conversation with you. But when it turns to small talk, I can’t turn off the fake voice.
19. If I’m completely silent in a room with you, please don’t think I hate you. It’s quite likely a good sign that I really like you and am completely at ease. Bonus points if I end up humming or singing without realizing it. That’s when you’ve really arrived at putting me at ease.
20. I really like people. But I’m rather selfish and I like you on my own terms. Please feel free to call me on it; just don’t assume that introverts don’t like people. 

Also, in re-reading, I've realized this is only about half apology. The other half is kind of authoritarian. Oops.

In Which I Liken My Professional Life to Facebook. Help Me Now...

Sing, swing, savor the sting

As she severs you, Madame Guillotine

Slice, come Paradise

You’ll be smitten with Madame Guillotine

So here I am with precious few days left to get a post in this January! January – the month that went by a lot faster than expected. I’m back in NYC and rather glad to be back into a new semester as of last Monday. I can only handle unstructured time for a few weeks before it wears on me.

My vision of the upcoming semester changed about six times in the course of two weeks. First the news came that my elective class was to be canceled. So I chose a backup option… which also got canceled. The end result is an independent study, which I’m actually looking forward to greatly. I’ll be reading with my advisor, Professor Rosenblatt, who described one of the potential texts as “a little piece of candy that melts in your mouth.” This promises to be a good semester.

Besides the changing class schedule, so did my research assistant job change a few times. They shuffled me around in a circle and ultimately back to my original assignment with Professor Sorkin, so it was simply an exercise in how often I would be willing to say, “Sure, whatever works.” I have no dignity, my friends. My biggest goal in life is to keep people happy and not rock the boat. (and to be independently wealthy. you knew I had to say it.) I am glad to have landed back in my original spot.

But the most exciting recent news truly has nothing to do with this semester. I received my teaching assignment for next year. Next fall, I’ll be handling a class of undergraduates at John Jay College. The head of the department there was my literature prof last semester, so I sent her an email to let her know I’d be there next fall. And she gave me the following reply: choose a microhistory class you’d like to teach…

Let me interrupt myself for a moment to tell you what I had been expecting. As the story goes for us PhD students, we get assigned to CUNY schools around the city and then the Americanists teach American history while the Europeanists teach ancient world (generally non-European) history. So, I was busy thinking, Mesopotamia, here I come. It took me at least two days to recover from the shock of having a choice and tentatively ask if I could teach on the French Revolution.

And the reply? If I come up with a catchy title, yes.

Please note how amazing this is. My first teaching assignment will actually be in my field. I was giving myself at least two years into a tenure track job before I got to teach French Rev. (And for my readers not living in an academia-saturated world, it can possibly take a year+ of post-doc work plus some adjunct positions before one dreams of landing a tenure track position.)

So this leaves me with one immense task for this semester (besides, you know, school). I have to come up with a clever title for my class. My Class. MY CLASS. Yikes.

I mean, how hard can it be, right? I basically need to write a Facebook status that will be put into a course catalog for a few weeks. And on my CV for life… Um… Suggestions gladly considered…